1. Never disguise loud noises by running tap water. Whistling will do just fine.

2. When in a public bathroom, never strike up a conversation with the person in the next stall.

3. Immediately replace the empty toilet paper roll with a new one. Savages.

4. In consideration of others, never let a trip to the bathroom last for longer than one section of the newspaper.

5. Light candles when necessary. You know who you are.

6. Unless someone is potty training, there is no need to watch others.

7. Men should concentrate on accuracy rather than distance.

8. Women should not stand. No exceptions!

9. Always chalk up before shooting (oops, that's poolroom etiquette).

10. Showering with another is permitted only when grounded.

11. Putting the toilet seat down is overrated. Just ask any man.

12. Dirty underwear should be kept out of site. That is what the tub is for.