1. Multi-speed blenders - Have you ever noticed a significant difference in your beverage when you pushed puree' instead of liquify?

2. Drawstrings on Bandages - The string comes completely out, opening nothing while you bleed to death.

3. Door Locks at Denny's - It's open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Who's going to lock up?

4. Yield Signs - A sign that gives you permission not to stop...very useful.

5. Heels of a Loaf of Bread - Why don't the bread people save us a needless headache and chop the heels off at the factory?

6. High School Algebra - You were right. This will have no bearing on your life in the "real world" and probably won't ever be used again.

7. Directions on a tube of toothpaste - Anyone who can't figure out how to use this item is either too young to read or is beyond any help that the outside world is capable of offering.

8. Parsley Garnish - A piece of green shrubbery on the side of your plate flicked to the floor once your food arrives...

9. Directions for Toilet Seat Covers - 1. PULL UP, 2. PULL DOWN. Follow me here...the imbeciles who need these instructions won't be able to read #2 after following #1.

10. Boxing Analysis - The objective of boxing is for two men to beat each other's brains out. An analyst's attempt to determine the factors which lead one man's fist to another man's face demeans the intelligence of the average fight fan. Of course, the average fight fan has no intelligence whatsoever, so nobody really seems to care.