Paste a sign over any drinking fountain that reads:

"Universal Unisex Urinal -- Drink at your own risk."

Fill any inflatable item with not air, but helium. Those plastic pool toys or even inflatable party dolls should suffice.

Take an ordinary balloon, put a little crushed dry ice in it, and tie the end. After doing this, put the balloon in the pocket of someone's swimsuit or pajamas. As dry ice evaporates as it melts, the balloon should inflate and the victim should become rather bloated.

Place the following add in your nearest big city newspaper, with a suitable victim's phone number, then stand back and let the waves of misplaced outrage flood over him:

"For sale: Attractive stuffed and mounted bottlenose dolphin. Seven feet long, professionally stuffed and mounted. I am loathe to part with this because it's a very impressive piece when it's hanging on your wall, and I had so much fun fishing for it. It put up a real fight, let me tell you, and made some strange noises when I landed it with a gaff hook. I am really fond of it. $400 or best offer."

The once-obscure sport of "dog standing" has steadily gained popularity in certain social circles haunted by a case of severe dementia. When you spot a dead dog beside a lonely road, stop, grab the snow shovel and clothespin that you keep in the back of your car/truck just for this purpose.

Put a clothespin on your nose, and slide the shovel under the dog. Move the canine to the middle of the road, raise it to a lifelike position, and take off. If the dog stands on the first try, it's worth ten points! If following traffic slows down to allow the deceased mutt time to run off the road, the score is doubled.

This would also work on animals such as deer, if you are able to muster the strength to lift such a beast.

Try collecting a large number of live moths from around a porch light, put them in a small box (a shoe box should work), and take them to a local theatre. After the film starts, quietly open the lid of the box and allow the moths to fly away. The moths will almost undoubtedly head for the projector light, thus making the film unviewable.